Stay the farce
Filed under: Constructive Criticism — MrBogle @ 7:35 pm
Ah, the smell of an election year is in the air, with anyone with an IQ above that of a gerbil feeling that he or she is permanently stuck downwind from a pig farm. The Republican-controlled Congress, not willing just to spew the usual sewage, has decided to mix it in with the blood and bones of American troops in Iraq, firmly declaring that they (in a non-binding resolution) will stay the course in Iraq in order to stay in office.

And the American populace is supposed to admire their moxie. John F. Kennedy once wrote a book entitled “Profiles in Courage.” Today, it would be named “Profiles in Political Porn.” Republicans are perfectly willing to run on the callous calamity of Iraq, the facts be damned. Ten dollar hookers have more dignity (better outfits, too).

I think this Republican Administration’s shamelessness is best expressed by Flack Tony Snow who, when queried as to the White House’s reaction to the 2,500th American soldier dying in this illegal invasion, opined: “It’s a number.”

No, Tony - it’s 2,500 living, breathing American citizens who are no longer living and breathing because a group of ill-informed, culturally-ignorant and militarily-moronic Yahoos wanted to take over Iraq. Period. End of discussion.

Speaking of discussions, both the House and the Senate, bolstered by the death of al-Qaeda’s numero two-o and Bush’s brave (five hour under the cover of darkness) visit to this booming (literally) new Iraqi democracy, decided to seize the day by the short-hairs and paint the Democrats as turncoats by bull-dozing two sad-sack statements into the record saying “We wuv war.”

(The House histrionics followed their voting 351-67 for another $66 billion in “emergency” war time spending, or as Dem. Dennis Kucinich of Ohio called it: “Mass death on the installment plan.”)

Bush himself got the Rovian ball rolling, last week, wondering aloud about why the Democrats just want to cut and run. In Republicans’ eyes, it’s a choice: “Cut and run” or “stay the course.” I love intellectual subtlety.

(Bush also praised Iraqi honcho Nouri al-Maliki’s plan to crackdown on Baghdad’s insurgents Big Time. A plan that, in 72 hours, has allowed dozens of Iraqis to get blowed up (seven bombings in five hours on Saturday), ten kidnappings of citizens to occur, seventeen corpses shot, execution style, to be found, one U.S. soldier to be killed and two other soldiers to disappear, possibly kidnapped. Sometimes, it would seem, “stayin’ alive” runs afoul of “stayin’ the course.”)

Snow was all over the talk shows on Sunday, declaring, re: Iraq: “Whatever the bleakness is, whatever the facts are on the ground, you figure out how to win. You can’t do that by reading polls.

“Most people realize simply pulling out would be an absolute unmitigated disaster.”

Uh, actually, Tony? Outside the Beltway? I mean, in “real” America? Most people are saying the exact opposite.

An AP-Ipsos poll saw Bush’s handling of the war at a stellar 33%, with his overall approval rating at 35%.

A CNN poll found that only 39% of folks approved the handling of the war, with 54% disapproving. 54% opposed the war, with 38% stayin’ the course. 55% thought things were going notso hotso while 41% thought things were stellar. (Interestingly enough, Bush’s trip ‘over th’ar’ boosted his popularity rating from 36% to a whopping 37%! Go team! Also, 47% - as opposed to 27% - said they were less likely to vote for a candidate supported by our President this fall, with 20% saying they officially didn’t give a rat’s ass.)

Oh, yeah. Note to Tony? 53% thought the U.S. should set a withdrawal timetable with 41% opposed. So, in America, Bushites, a lot of us are for your “cutting and running” slogan.

An NBC/Wall Street Journal poll found 57% saying the number of US troops should be reduced, 53% saying that Iraq was a mistake and 53% saying they aren’t confident of success. (Bush’s popularity, again, soared from 36% yo 37% - the seventh straight under 40% performance in this poll.)

So, with the majority of Americans opposed to the war and the Administration as popular bird flu, Congressional Republicans, like belligerent bozos tumbling out of clown car, made a mad dash for the microphones to put on record their support for this madness.

The Senate, by a 93-6 votes, went “rah-rah,” with Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-Tenn. cat skinner) warning: “I am absolutely convinced (if the Senate favored a withdrawal) the terrorists would see this as vindication…If we were to cut and run, the violence in Iraq would certainly increase,” and the chaos “would spread around the region and right here at home.”

He even linked our leaving Iraq with “a skyrocketing of gas prices in this country.” Don’t forget the rise in cases of gingivitis.

Senate Republicans claimed victory with the final lopsided tally. “This sent a good message that the United States Senate overwhelmingly opposes a cut-and-run strategy,” said John Cornyn of Texas.

(I wish they’d endorse a cut-the-crap strategy.)

For sheer slapstick, the House, known for its buffoonery, nailed it. Bloviating big boy, House Speaker Dennis Hastert (Rancid, Ill.), proved that his appetite for rhetoric is second only to his appetite for junk food.

“When our freedom is challenged, Americans do not run,” Denny’s said in remarks laden with references to the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.

“We must stand firm in our commitment to fight terrorism and the evil it inflicts throughout the world,” declared Hastert. “We must renew our resolve that the actions of evildoers will not dictate American policy.” (Uh, they already do, Denny.)

One of the more interesting comments came from House International Relations Committee Chairman Henry (dang his) Hyde, R. Ill, who went into the Wayback Machine, stating: “Which, then, is the greatest risk in the face of decades of evidence: to act or not to act? To trust Saddam? Who in this body is willing to assert that it’s ever wise, that it’s ever moral to risk the destruction of the American people?”

(Note to Hyde: Your doctor’s on line two. There’s been a mix-up with your meds.)

“The left in this country have a position they’re advocating for — it’s called ‘cut and run,’ ” squeaked freshman Rep. Patrick McHenry, R-N.C.

Rep. Charles Norwood, R-Ga., attacked war critics as defeatists who do not deserve re-election. “Is it al-Qaida or is it America? Let the voters take note of this debate,” he said, before picking up a banjo and calling Ned Beatty on speed dial.

“The choice for the American people is clear; don’t run in the face of danger, victory will be our exit strategy,” Rep. Mike Conaway, R-Texas, said, apparently never reading the autobiography of Gen. George Armstrong Custer. Oh, that’s right. There wasn’t one. My bad.

“Will we fight or will we retreat? That’s the question that’s posed to us,” House Majority Leader John Boehner said, once his hair was buffed.

After the vote, (256 legally nuts, 153 living in the real world) the Ohio Republican intoned, “Capitol Hill Democrats, once again, put their divisions and incoherence on display for the American public to see.” (Note: I think the last time a Republican has been coherent was when Lincoln announced: “Ow!”)

Dem. Jack Murtha of Pennsylvania, a Vietnam veteran, said it was “easy to stay in an air-conditioned office and say, ‘I’m going to stay the course.”‘ He added: “That’s why I get so upset when they stand here sanctimoniously and say we’re fighting this thing. It’s the troops that are doing the fighting.”

“‘Stay the course’ is not a strategy, it’s a slogan,” declared House Democratic leader Nancy Pelosi as she called for a new direction in a war she labeled “a grotesque mistake.”

House Speaker Hastert said the sham vote “told the world that the sacrifices made by our troops on foreign shores are keeping the battle against the terrorists out of our cities and neighborhoods.”

And, most importantly, he said that with a straight face, obviously dreaming of a dinner break.

Now, the final “non-binding” resolution opposes setting an “arbitrary date” for withdrawing troops and concludes with a declaration that the United States “will prevail in the global war on terror, the noble struggle to protect freedom from the terrorist adversary.”

For those unacquainted with Republican Congressional politics, “non-binding” translates into: “We can change our minds if we want to before the elections. So, there.”

Personally, I would have preferred all Congressional Democrats to just to have stood up and walked out of the room, allowing the Republicans to yank their own cranks in this sleazy set-up. But they didn’t. Hopefully, the Republicans will shore-up their total disengagement with the feelings of the majority of Americans all on their own by the fall, and the majority of Americans will vote accordingly.

Perhaps it was Dennis Kucinich who summed up Bush’s Iraq policy the best. “What can you say when you are watching your nation descend, sleep walking, into something like the lower circles of hell in Dante’s Inferno?

“You can say stop it! You can say enough blood is enough blood!

“You can stop it! Bring our troops home!”

On a personal note, I would like to invite every Republican member of Congress who supported this sleazy stunt to come to my backyard and debate your asses off like pandering parrots repeating “cut and run, cut and run” endlessly.

My roses are in dire need of fertilizer.

And the fertilizer you guys offer is the strongest I’ve smelled in decades.